February 27, 1950
An example love letter.
My Dearest Lindsey:
The indication is great that your gaze shall never again fall upon the musings of this heart. My search has been met with a silence over the years that only leaves a restlessness; a longing unable to be shook even after all this time. Lest I shall crack – I pen another sentence to you – dream another dream of you looking upward into a never ending deep blue sky in which you are all the purpose I have ever desired. I pretend these words will find you, in good spirits, and strum to the tune of the heart I once knew; the one in perfect accord with the rhythm of mine, the one cradled within a place of which no other shall ever share. This notebook spills over with an incorrigible love – the story you filled me of so long ago when we were but young and fragile lovers free of all worry except for that of each other. I’ve searched the depths of my being and always trace the root of everything back to you.
When the hour of the end is upon me, the greatest regret will have been forsaking the whisper of your heart, the one that used to speak like I knew it’s every word as if it were my own. The years have brought struggle and conflict – but pleasure has come through memories of our short time together. This sentiment is long in the making and so true of the undying passion I once felt. I suppose growth is a part of life, and through all the years I’ve come to understand that you will always be that first budding spring flower covered in dew that sparkles as the golden rays of sun – that I wish I were – first touch upon it. I picture an eternal warm wind and sunny sky where the leaves always spring to life. Flowers, and forests, and trees…all of nature….fill me of a longing for you.
Yet there is an ache that never leaves me even under such a pleasant scenario, for I write the passing of thoughts all in story, a fiction never expecting response – but always yearning for something, if nothing more than a simple fantasy. You are now all but a memory like leaves falling from those same trees that were once the eternal testament to our love. But leaves do grow back again… and again… the trees never remain barren for long. It remains difficult sometimes though my love, sometimes I speak only to myself with memories that stay alive like ghosts. The memories bring tears and over the long years I have touched of a dark that no soul should have ever had to touch. I have been to indescribable places and crawled back on scraped knees having to pull myself up up up. Now I am on a course into the clouds but I still always glance back to the time with you. Sometimes you are only a tiny dot becoming smaller and smaller with the passage of time, but I always see at least a little spark. There is always something there – a light always shining through. Always always always.
I have written nearly seven times this length, and logged nearly 30 hours to get there, but I will stop here for now, for the fear on rambling too long. Should this letter ever find you in good spirits and you so desire I will share the rest with you. It would be my desire and has always been my desire, even if you might not know that or believe it to be such.
All my life I have searched for you. Time, it seems, has not been fair. We found one another in a special place, one that will never be duplicated (at least for me.) I have drifted and wandered over the years, and I have thought about you often. I wonder about you. What you look like. Who you’ve become. I hope that life has treated you kind. I hope that you have found a happiness that you will be able to enjoy for all the rest of your days.
I don’t know if you’re mom will get this, but if you do Mrs. Reynolds, could you please pass it along to your daughter? This letter is going off to a half dozen or so addresses, and I don’t know if any are even valid. I promise you that I never had any bad intentions for your daughter. I loved her greatly and I’d just like to be able to say hello to her again. We’re both adults now and I’ve been wanting to reconnect with her for years. She was, and always will be, unique to me.
My heart would smile in knowing that one day you would finally read all the words that you have inspired.
Always back to you.